Christmas Pie
by twisted.cucumber
Summary: Slightly late Holiday Fic. As usual the three Potter children are up to no good, but unlike before, this may be the first time they get caught... Features squabbling, blackmail, and of course the ever delectable PIE.


Twas a dark and stormy night, yet all was calm in the Potter household.

_Crash!_ "Lily!"

Well almost.

Ten-year-old James Potter glared at his younger sister Lily, who cowered behind Albus, nursing a hurt elbow. The middle Potter sibling rolled his eyes. At this rate they were never going to make it down in time. Every year since Al had been four, the Potter children (and Teddy) would sneak down after midnight to help themselves to leftover pie and milk from Christmas dinner. (Grandma Molly's apple pie was to die for.)

Normally they had Teddy to help with clean up, but this was the first year that Teddy had decided to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas break. The Potter siblings were on their own, and as of right now, they were failing miserably.

With a firm grasp on Lily's wrist, taking no heed of his younger sister's yelp, Al pushed his way ahead of James, who squawked his sudden usurpation of power. Al quickly covered James' mouth to muffle the noise.

"Guys shut up," Al hissed, glaring fiercely between the rambunctious siblings, who looked properly abashed.

"If Mum and Dad are going to wake up and then we'll be done for. And I don't know about you, but I don't fancy getting grounded on over hols," Al ended haughtily, pushing his glasses up.

James, who decided that nice-time was over, promptly shoved Al out of the way and dragged Lily towards the stairs. Lily, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but between her brothers' silly squabbles, shot her disgruntled elder brother a sympathetic look. Even at the age of six, an age where she virtually had no say in sibling decisions, she knew that bossy James meant an annoying James, which was never fun to deal with.

Al harrumphed loudly and followed. The common goal was pie and he was willing to go to any length to get it, even if it meant, he shuddered, actually _listening_ to James.

The three children stealthily made their way down the steps, taking care to avoid the creaky third step (Lily, who had less practice sneaking around at night, almost stepped on it but a Look from James made her skip over it.) At the first floor landing, they noticed the bright glow coming from the kitchen. The three exchanged wide-eyed looks of horror. If that was Mum…

Al looked pleadingly at the older boy. "James maybe we should just go. Pie just isn't worth getting caught over."

"Isn't worth it?" James looked like he was seeing his brother in a new light. He shook his head in disgust. "Of course it's worth it! It's grandma's pie we're talking about!"

Lily nodded eagerly. "Yeah come on Al!"

"Fine," Al bit out putting his hands on his nonexistent hips. James was strongly reminded of the stance his mother took when she was yelling at him. "But say someone is in there. What are we gonna tell them when they ask why we're down so late?"

"Uh, well we could always… nah no one'll believe that," James stuttered, looking truly stumped. Al smirked triumphantly as he watched James try to think himself out of the hypothetical situation. This was the kind of stuff he lived for.

Lily grew impatient looking onto her brother's daily squabbles. "Oh I know what we can do!" When she saw she had her brothers' undivided attention, she continued. "We can just say that I was afraid of the storm and I woke you two up and you were just takin' me down to get some juice."

James and Al stared simply gobsmacked at their younger sister. The girl squirmed at their intense gazes "What?" she asked innocently.

Al snapped out of his trance first. "Mum's gonna kill us if Lily turns out like you James," Al stated bluntly.

James sniggered at Al's rather straightforward announcement. Lily, who was growing impatient yet again, this time at her brothers' misplaced amusement, tugged on their pajama sleeves insistently. "Come on, " she whined, "The pie's calling us."

The trio marched forward confidently, ready to face their fate. James pushed the kitchen door open, ready to continue their conquest. He stopped suddenly when he saw a silhouette on the floor.

Lily ducked behind Al who started chanting under his breath, "Please don't be Mum, please don't be Mum". James slapped his brother on the underside of his head.

"And that is why, little brother, you will never be a Gryffindor." Cutting off whatever retort Al had on the tip of his tongue, James pulled Lily and Al into the light.

Sitting at the kitchen counter, digging into a slice of Grandma's pie was a sheepish Harry Potter, who had a classic caught-in-the-headlights look on his face. He visibly sighed in relief when he saw his children.

"Oh thank Merlin it's only you lot. I was afraid it was- never mind." Harry went back to eating his pie with gusto. The children let out the breath they'd been unconsciously been holding. Al slowly tiptoed to the fridge to find some juice, while Lily and James inched eagerly towards the leftover pie.

Suddenly Harry looked up. "Wait, hang on. What are you three doing up so late?"

Busted. Al and Lily exchanged guilty looks. Looks like their luck just ran out. Lily buried her head into James' arm while Al stuttered his way through their half-baked story. It may have been convincing to them when they made it up, but it didn't look like Dad believed a single word: well obviously not: a six-year-old _did _think up of it...

"So Dad," James intervened in the middle of Al's 'explanation'. "What's that behind you? Hey Al, doesn't it looks exactly like grandma's pie?" James turned to ask his siblings. "Y'know, that Mum explicitly told us not to eat."

Al and Lily, who were both catching onto James' ploy, nodded enthusiastically. "Yup." "Absolutely."

Turning back, James continued. "But Dad, you would never _dream_ of disobeying Mum, would you?"

Harry turned pale. " You wouldn't..."

"Watch me," James countered.

Harry looked contemplatively at his oldest son and shook his head ruefully. This boy was going to be the death of him when he grew up. Finally Harry spoke up, "What do you want?"

"A share of the profits," Al piped up. Seeing three questioning looks, he sighed. "The pie. We want a slice of pie. Each, " he added knowing that his father would probably try to find a loophole.

"And if your mother asks-"

"We know nothing," Lily said solemnly.

Harry cracked a smile. "Well then it's settled. C'mere," he said lifting his youngest onto the counter. "Al, get some plates. James, can you see if there are any spare forks? Lily no! Don't eat it with your hands…"

***************

The next morning, when Ginny Potter casually questioned her family if anyone had seen Grandma's pie, everyone answered a negative. Ginny decided to over look the crumbs in Lily's hair, the red smears on the boys' pajama, and the distinctive sweetness she had tasted on Harry's lips that morning.

No, she was just happy that she had been smart enough to hide a slice for herself the night before


End file.
